How to get Boys to Do Sex With You
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Following the amazing success of my last dating article “How to Impress Boys” I have decided to do a follow up. And this is it. You are reading it now. Just to be clear.
Here are my top tips on how to get boys to do sex with you.
Wear make up. If you don’t have any make up then face painting works just as well. Remember, boys get frightened by spiderman faces and clown faces but some boys quite like tiger faces.
Shy boys require more effort because it’s harder to tell if they actually want to do sex with you or not. Do not go up to a shy boy and shout “Do you want to do sex with me” in their face because they may say no and then everyone will feel awkward. The best way to get a shy boy to do sex with you is to tempt out from under the table using some ham.
Show boys that you are good at doing sex by licking something sexily. A good example of something to lick sexily is a spoon or an ice cream. A bad example of something to lick sexily is a lamp post or someone’s nan.
If you run your fingers through your hair this also makes boys want to sleep with you because he will see that you have hair and boys like hair. For maximum effect, rub your hair in his face and say “Do you like my hair?”
Always laugh at boys’ jokes. It is a scientific fact that boys willies work better if a girl laughs at their jokes. The louder and longer you can laugh for the better. Try doing a long, loud shout laugh that comes from the back of your throat and try doing it without blinking. When you have finished doing the shout laugh ask the boy if his willy is working now.
Drinking heavily makes you funnier and prettier and gives you nice hair. A fun game to play is called “I have drunk red wine and yellow beer, I wonder what colour my sick will be” It is better to do a sick in a gutter or a bag rather than a boys mouth. Some boys do not like this.
If you have the money, go super size and have breast enlargement surgery - boys like big things like trucks and JVC diggers.
If you follow my instructions you will have all the boys wanting to sleep with you and you will be the winner of everything ever. Thank you that is all.